This Week’s Mommy Peptalk: The Martyr Mom- Part II

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The Big C

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My friend Hagit is a 39-year-old mother of 5 little kids. When I think of her, I think of 3 things:

Hagit is Emuna (faith)
Hagit is Chesed (kindness)
Hagit is a walking smile that makes the world smile back.

In Nachlaot, there are a lot of us moms. But for years I have thought of Hagit as the mom of all the moms. She took care of us mothers and of everyone else too.

But today, Hagit is so ill from the cancer that she has been battling for the past year and a half that last month she finally moved in with her parents in Ashdod.

I spoke with Hagit two weeks ago and she sounded so helpless, so distraught, so desperate, like an animal with its paw stuck in a hunter’s trap.

Since I last spoke with her, Hagit has stopped answering her phone. Everywhere I go people ask me how she’s doing. But I don’t know anymore. I just tell people that our dear friend Hagit bat Leah is not doing well, and that she is in need of a major miracle.

So I haven’t seen Hagit recently. But I do see Hagit’s 5 young children. Hagit’s daughter, Anava, plays with Moriah in kindergarten and often comes over to our house to play.

When my children wake up with a nightmare, I comfort them by telling them that it was just a dream.

But what am I supposed to tell this 5-year-old girl whose nightmare is her actual life?

When I saw this video from the Big C about a young mother who dies from cancer, I thought about Hagit and her family.

In this tremendously moving final scene, the woman’s only son enters the room filled with a lifetime worth of presents and cards that she has prepared for him.

This video reminded me of the blessing of being a mother, and the even greater blessing of having a mother. And it also reminded me that the biggest gift you can give your child isn’t a new bicycle or a computer or even a fancy red car. The biggest gift you can possibly give your child is you.

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