And the Winner Is…

photo © 1939 The Library of Congress | more info (via: Wylio)
Mazal tov to Chaya Cohen of Jerusalem for winning the “Best Advice I Ever Received Contest”!

Chaya is one of 29 JewishMOM.com readers who signed up for the 4-week free trial offer of Rabbi Aryeh Nivin’s life-altering Personal Development Chabura, and Chaya’s name was chosen at random to win an entire 12-week session of the Chabura!

The truth is that I am so happy that Chaya won in the end. I have never met her, but over the years Chaya Cohen has been one of my most loyal readers, and she has helped me immensely on many, many occasions.

It was Chaya who told me about Dina Friedman’s parenting class, which I am taking now and LOVING! On occasion, Chaya has provided me with much-needed and fantastic blog-related technical advice (she is a professional website developer). It is Chaya who sends me inspirational parenting stories that I love so much and have shared in my peptalks. Once Chaya even caught a typo a few minutes before I sent out my weekly newsletter that would have been really, REALLY embarrassing if she hadn’t pointed it out to me.*

Mazal tov, Chaya! And THANK YOU!

*In an blog post a few weeks back I referred to one of the greatest rabbis of the previous generation, Rabbi Dayan Fisher, as “infamous” instead of “famous.” I wrote this because I had mistakenly thought that infamous meant VERY famous (that’s what living in Israel for 18 years can do to you. My Hebrew’s not native-level perfect, and my English no longer is either). FYI, for those of you who also don’t know, infamous actually means “Having a reputation of the worst kind.”

The weirdest thing about this potentially-incredibly-embarrassing “Famous/Infamous” incident was that the week I posted that article I had been trying and trying to send out that week’s newsletter, but all of a sudden my computer filter went absolutely ballistic and started blocking EVERYTHING.

It was incredibly bizarre, and I was totally frustrated because this filter issue meant that I wouldn’t be able to send out the newsletter on time. I tried to remind myself through all the stress and frustration that “Hashem is making this happen, and He must be doing it for a reason!” but I wasn’t really convinced.

And then, while fiddling with my ballistic filter and making zero headway, I received Chaya Cohen’s Email explaining to me that I really did not want to write “The infamous Rabbi Dayan Fisher.” I thanked Chaya effusively, and fixed my mistake. And within a few minutes my newsletter was on its merry way. Weird, right?

Thank you, Chaya, for your careful reading, and thank you Hashem for saving me from my own stupid whopper of a JewishMOM blooper!

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This Week’s Mommy Peptalk: Living in the Present

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Dear Chana Jenny: I’m Feeling Stuck in the Mud

Photo courtesy of Flickr.com user mud ant.photos

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Dear Chana Jenny, I’d like to ask your opinion. I can’t think of anyone else who will maybe understand what I mean, so I hope you have time to answer

I was always easygoing and popular in school and opinionated and artistic. I loved seminary and afterwards taught Torah to 10th grade girls for one year (while in college for accounting). Then, thank G-d, I got married 10 years ago. Since then, I’ve been getting used to being married, running a house, cooking, CLEANING (I’m still horrible at this one), working, having and raising our 4 children, etc.

Recently I’ve been feeling, though, like I want to “shine” and I can’t because I’m bogged down with life…do you understand what I mean by that? I feel like I can grow, learn, even discuss, but that I’m not shining.

I don’t mean being the center of attention, I never was that, but I mean feeling like I’m shining from inside.

I try to find myself outlets but they don’t seem to help. Maybe they are in the wrong direction.

Can you understand what I mean? Do you have any advice?

Thanks so much, Devori from Jerusalem
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Dear Devori,

Thanks for your question. And yes, I do know what you mean. I think that what you are feeling is extremely common among mothers. Without noticing, our lives get taken over by the demands of home, children, and work, and we end up feeling dried up, like we aren’t passionate about anything anymore.

I think that the best advice I ever got on this issue came from my teacher Rabbi Aryeh Nivin (click here to sign up for a free 4-week trial of Rabbi Nivin’s life-altering Personal Development Chaburas).

Rabbi Nivin explained that every Jew has a Universal Life’s Purpose to keep the Torah and perform the mitzvot. But in addition, the Arizal taught that every single person has a yeud or a Divinely-mandated PERSONAL purpose in life that is completely unique to him or her. This means that, according to the Slonimer Rebbe, you can keep all the Torah and the Mitzvot, but if you haven’t fulfilled your life’s purpose, then you are missing one of the major reasons why G-d created you in the first place. Knowing your life’s purpose provides tremendous joy and happiness. It can illuminate life’s dark and confused moments and provide much-needed clarity.

In other words, identifying your life’s purpose can enable you to shine.

So how do you figure out what your unique life’s purpose is? Rabbi Nivin provided two tools:

1. Write a list of the ten most powerfully pleasurable experiences of your life. See if there are any patterns in what has brought your pleasure. When doing this exercise, avoid universally pleasurable experiences such as your wedding day or having a new baby. Look for experiences that might be connected to your life purpose.

2. Imagine that you will be given $500,000 a week to spend however your wish. You cannot save the money, and all of your personal needs and the needs of your family have already been taken care of. What would you spend the money on? Your choice of where you would spend the money is usually a good indication of what your life purpose is.

Once you figure out your unique life’s purpose, I think that it would be very helpful for you to incorporate your purpose into your regular weekly schedule. G-d willing, through identifying and fulfilling your unique purpose, you will be able to feel once again like you are shining.

With blessings, Chana Jenny

To learn more about the tools for determining your life’s purpose, watch this video:

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The Best Advice I Ever Got

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A year ago this month, two women who read this blog told me that I absolutely had to try out the Personal Development Chabura of Rabbi Aryeh Nivin.

Looking back, I understand that that was quite possibly the best advice I have ever received.

No class or course I have ever taken has improved my life as dramatically as this chabura, and I HIGHLY recommend it from the bottom of my heart to every Jewish mom reading this.

If you’ve been on this mailing list for a while, you know that over the years I have never ever sent out a special mailing like this to promote anything. But I have decided to send out this special mailing in order to tell you moms about an unprecedented, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity being offered by Rabbi Nivin in honor the Chabura’s 5th Anniversary.

For the first time ever, you will be able to:

Try the first 4 sessions for free, with no obligation!
And, as a special incentive to JewishMOM.com readers, every woman who registers for this 4-week offer will automatically participate in a raffle to win an entire free 3-month-session of the Chabura (worth $150). TO be included in the raffle, make sure to mention JewishMOM.com when you register.

Do me a favor, do yourself a favor, don’t miss this incredible chance to start living the life of your dreams.

Learn more at www.NewChabura.com or see the flyer below…Chana Jenny Weisberg, JewishMOM.com

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The Chanukah Wave

Photo courtesy of Flickr.com user Isolino

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“How’s Chanukah going?” my friend asked me in the market yesterday.

In Israel, children are on vacation from school for most or all of Chanukah. And that means that I have spent most of Chanukah feeling like I did as a child when I was jumping in the ocean waves on the New Jersey shore. Sometimes, during those sunny and sandy hours of jumping, I would get sucked under and tossed around so thoroughly inside a huge wave that for a few panicky seconds I feared I would never ever find my way back to the sunshine again.

And that stuck-in-the-wave feeling is how Chanukah feels to me.

Chanukah is a tidal wave of kids crying for apple juice and fighting over a skirt “borrowed” without permission and exploding with laughter over a song they made up and blasting “Maoz Tsur” on recorder in my ear and a house that is turned upside down almost as soon as I finally manage to turn it right side up.

I looked at my friend and said, “I feel like I’m drowning in Chanukah.”

She nodded and I smiled, and then I returned home for my favorite part of Chanukah.

I chose my candles, and lit my menorah. And then, as I try to do every night of Chanukah, I sat for half an hour just watching my candles.

And for that half an hour I just sat back and enjoyed being stuck inside the Weisberg family Chanukah wave.

Rabbi Nivin taught us in his pre-Chanukah class that the lesson of Chanukah is that EVERYTHING is from God. And so that is what I have been thinking about every night sitting in the darkness on my living room sofa, surrounded by my family.

I look at my children. Laughing. Crying. Playing. Being.
Everything is from God.
I look at the flames of the Chanukah candles stretching up towards Heaven.
Everything is from God.
I look at the wave that swirls around and around and has swallowed me whole.
Everything is from God.

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Mommy Peptalk: I Feel like a Failure

Why effort is more important than success.

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Mommy Peptalk: When Things Need to Change

What to do when you are feeling burnt out

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